Autobiography of a Dog - 499

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From the Autobiography of an Alsatian Dog.


My name is Lady Ann. I was born in a kennel with six brothers and sisters. I cannot remember all their names, but only those of my sister Black Pearl and my brother Danny. We had a small dark room all to ourselves with our mother, and a lot of straw to roll about and play in. And when we were tired we went to sleep cuddled up to each other. But when I came to this new home of mine it was very different.

No smell of little dogs here, but a box to sleep in, and a carpet. Early in the morning I had a basin of lovely hot milk all to myself. For lunch I had a bowl of rice and meat. Now, I thought, Danny and Black Pearl are sure to rush out and gobble up my share too, so I ate as fast as I could, and then I tried to run away. But I felt so heavy inside that I rolled down the steps. I heard my mistress laughing at me and saying I was a greedy little dog.

I made up my mind that I would show them that 1 was something more than a greedy little dog, so I walked off to the front door and sat upon the mat. ‘I wish somebody would come along,’ said I to myself, ‘I’ll show them what I can do.’

Hardly had I said this when tramp tramp! I heard great footsteps. Never had I heard such a noise before. My hair stood on end, and then when I saw it was a fat man I just growled and made as much noise as I could. Out ran my mistress. She didn’t laugh this time. She patted me and said: ‘You are a brave dog! Clever Lady, guarding your home. Just look at her quivering with anger!’ She didn’t know that I was frightened, not angry.

‘It’s the postman, Lady; you mustn’t bite him,’ she said to me. ‘Come inside now.’

‘Well, well,’ I thought, ‘I mustn’t let her think I’m afraid.’ So still growling I followed her into the bedroom.

It was cool and dark under the bed. But all at once I saw a dreadful sight. Just round the door was a dog, a black and brown one, with a fierce face and a long tail.

‘How dare you come to my house?’ I said. ‘I’ll frighten you as I did the postman.’ So I made my hair stand up. (It’s a trick I have. I can make it stand straight up along the top of my back.) And I growled and showed my teeth. But the nasty dog did exactly the same.

‘This won’t do,’ said I to myself, ‘I’ll give the creature a slap.’ So I very slowly crept up and gave it a good slap with my paw. But what I hit was a very hard paw, and it hurt me.

‘I’ll clear you out of this,’ I growled, and it snarled back at me. I rushed at it, and bang! it hit my nose such a blow that I cried. And what do you think my mistress did? She laughed and said: ‘You silly

Lady! Don’t you know that is a looking-glass you are striking. What you see is yourself, and not another dog.’

I was very much offended, so I just went off to the kitchen for a bone, so as not to think of that stupid mirror again.

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